Indian Love

Bird Mart this May was chock full of Green Cheeks and Moluccans, but luckily I happed into a lovely bearded gentleman looking for a male ringneck. I was looking for a female. So, we saw a pair and split the difference.

Now Sterling, my randy ringneck, can refrain from flogging his flamingo and has a lovely wife, Jessie. And, soon I hope I will be hearing the pitter-pat of little birdie feet. (I promise I will update with new photos soon... No, really, I will! I'm not kidding. It's gonna happen... start holding your breath now)

Star Light, Star Bright...

For one measly day I would love to experience the high of manipulating the psyche, soma and selective reasoning of the public at large (as opposed to the large public). Recently I had the honor of visiting the "No. 1" vascular surgeon in DFW, who proceeded to spend all of 20 minutes with the now not-so-blue pinky, subject me to sonogram, doppler and finger cuffs, only to relay the diagnosis equivalent to "I dunno." On the basis of that, he recommended an echo-cardiogram - simple enough. Checked in with his upstairscardiology group and sent me to their office to powwow with their "No. 1" cardiologist. I signed in and confirmed that I would be seeing Dr. Carry. After 20 minutes I reconfirmed that I would be meeting personally with Dr. Carry, and the receptionist was firm that it would be just a minute. A mere 1 hour and 20 minutes later, I was called sweetly through the magic door and was greeted glibly by Dr. Carry. I bluntly asked if it was standard procedure to keep patiemts waiting for up to two hours. She hemmed and hawed, justified the wait by explaining that I was a "work-in" and as I escalated my inquiries and ejaculations (no pejoratives, mind you), she now-nowed, there-thered me to my utter dishevelment.

I stormed out uttering incoherencies and gesticulating wildly, all the time trying to prevent tears of anger and frustration from slipping out and giving away my emotional discomfiture. Upon reaching the safe haven of my car, I wept and hiccoughed, jerked and spasmed until I could get enough air to call Dr. Pearl. After repeated unsatisfying jockies with his office manager, he finally came on the line and queried me in a sweet "I'm-talking-to-an-hysterical-person" voice, and he was right. I had lost my senses - left without my staggering command of grammar and a devastating vocabulary, I could only whimper ineffectual commentary as to inefficiency and indiscretion. So, now, not only was I angry and frustrated but I was muted by my own inflated emotion.

Without any additional information being imparted as to my health and/or well-being, these "professionals" managed to squander a full day of my valuable time, several hours of my precious mental health, and all of my sanguine goodwill. Yes, yes... I know what you are saying... I let them frappe me into this state, but wouldn't anyone be incensed?? If you aren't, you should get that way. Doctors have challenged even the most stoic and forgiving with their inattention and unconcern for the time and trust of their patients.

OK, so they spent seven years in school preparing to wrangle the vicissitudes of the human body, they got divorced, ignored their children and wives, and bowed in obeisance to the medical powers that be, but does that negate the necessity of continuing to be human? I say, let's take our bodies into our own hands, use the vast sources of imformation available to us and begin to know ourselves so that we can begin the process of diagnosis and treatment withou the intervention of a medical automaton who pilfers our pockets for his ski trips to Vail.

Patient, Heal Thyself!

As I watched the grayscale monitor, the thin wire coasted gracefully across the charcoal duskiness of my lumbar vertebrae before merging onto my large thoracic thru-way. "More thrust!" I said to myself in a silly Scotts accent and a larger catheter magically appeared on the screen. This new and improved rooter ascended my torso and arched gracefully over my aorta. I talked and burbled happily aware of my pharmaceutical phaerie gliding gently in and around inquiring gently as to my comfort. Everyone should have one of these anxiolytic angels to soothe and assuage nerves gone awry, stomachs gone floppsy, and arteries repelling invaders. I wondered when they would use the big rubber mallet...

Dr. Day, (after recovering from my nauseated greeting) explained the next series of events as he tapped and wiggled my femoral cannula, Long Hair banged the dye reservoir heartily and Eagle Eye confirmed the absence of naughty invasive bubbles. Somehow visions of a well-used but restorable classic car came to mind as I listened to the bangs and rattles, grunts and assertions.

All of this for the "blue pinky". One whole day spent in the confines of Baylor Medical, finger refusing to be even slightly bluish, to discover that my radial artery (sinister) is completely blocked, jammed up, occluded to the hilt for no apparent reason. Dr. Day asked if I had been using my arm as a tool or deadly weapon to which I cordially responded in the negative, internally wondering if he was altogether a twit or still reeling from my gastric salutation. Indeed, I often wield my arm in a threatening manner, and have offered it's services to many a construction worker as substitute for some pneumatic device, but never, in my wildest imaginings, thought this could be harmful to the delicate underpinnings of my vascula. Git!!

Dr. Pearle will be inspecting me next and the wonders of a thrombosis may be revealed. Stay tuned for vastly amazing and enchanting pictures of the "blue pinky" itself, and if we are lucky, the radiographies.

Follow up to Cruelty

I love animals dearly but this is just too funny (similar to the penguin thing).

Cruelty Free

My brother, Dolph, told me to go to this site. Happily, it doesn't condemn meat eaters but offers simple solutions to finding quality food products with which one can be guilt free. Our family is completely invested in this concept - our meats come from Burgundy Pasture beef and our eggs come from a local woman who has chickens in her yard. We were never intended to be strictly vegetarian, however we have propogated generations of humans who believe it is their right to consume massive quantities of flesh in order to feed the consumerism that is leading us down the path to self destruction. Contrary to the beliefs of zealots and the misguided, humans are not the pinnacle of the animal kingdom and are not entitled to abuse, neglect and otherwise harm fellow species at will.

So, eat your meat or you won't get any pudding... just make sure you are raising your own or purchasing from someone who holds life tenderly and dearly.

This is becoming alarming

Yet another in a string of cetacean strandings and deaths this spring. What does this say about our earth and about us???